You might also check out whatmesober.com, D-D’s sister site, for other addiction-related material.
Inertia In The Rooms
There was a recent attempt to change a group by-law in one of the fellowships that I attend. Although it would have affected only that group, it was a pretty big deal. So far as anyone could tell (including the national office) it had never been done before, although it didn’t seem to violate any of the national by-laws or the traditions. I had my reservations, but I sat in on the meetings and gave input in an attempt to keep things from becoming too radical.
Want to get a lot of folks to a 12-step business meeting? Try changing a by-law that would curtail a current custom. There were at least four times as many members there as I had ever seen at a business meeting — maybe five times. The discussion was amicable, however, and the proposal was defeated by about a five to one margin. Addicts. Do. Not. Like. Change. However, we do love our rituals.
And why would we like change? We spent incredible amounts of time avoiding it! We want to get things just right and have them welded, as a friend used to say while tuning his 12-string.
I’m not suggesting that the folks who voted the measure down had poor sobriety; far from it. I’m merely stating a fact: using alcohol or any other drug or behavior to feel better is, when you get down to it, an attempt to exercise control over our lives. And sometimes it works — for a while — but it never lasts!
And that, I believe, is the crux of the issue for addicts in recovery. We don’t like changes in the fellowships because what we already have works. Yes, times change, but we change the programs and rituals that are literally our lifelines with great trepidation. AA’s don’t like to hear talk about drugs much (although that’s slowly changing) because their singleness of purpose has worked for millions of recovering alcoholics over three-quarters of a century. That’s a good deal longer than most current members have been alive, and maybe it is time to relax a little. Maybe in time AA will ease up on addicts who don’t identify as alcoholics. In the meantime, there are around 150 other 12-step fellowships out there to help keep us sober, and we can still attend AA. All we have to do is be courteous and follow their customs. That’s called “good manners,” folks.
But I digress a bit. I voted against the changes mentioned above for two reasons: (1) I didn’t think they were appropriate, for reasons we don’t need to discuss; and (2) because I believe in inertia. That tendency for stuff to remain at rest and move only proportional to the force applied keeps the universe from chaos. (What if a breeze could move a two-ton boulder as easily as a child can blow away a feather? Inertia keeps boulders where they belong, for the most part, and that’s a good thing.)
And inertia in the rooms — the inability of a small group to change the rules for everyone else, along with the tendency for things to remain as they are — is the reason I can walk into a meeting in Moscow, 5,000 miles from my home in South Florida, and feel right at home. I don’t speak Russian, but the steps are the steps. How It Works is How It Works, and recovering addicts are what they are: just like me.
That’s a powerful reason to consider change very, very carefully, and most of the time to just forget messing with the rules (while keeping Rule 62 firmly in mind). The fellowships have made it this far, and we can probably let the little changes come on their own. They will, if no one has welded them.
A Solstice Greeting
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For whatever reasons, we humans have a relationship with the annual cycles that surpasses pure science, and combines with the observable facts a mystical component that causes us to view the wheel of the year with more than merely analytical interest.
Winter Holidays, celebrating the point at which the warmth of the sun ceases its annual recession — the time when the days begin, imperceptibly at first, to become longer and to promise the warmth and riches of spring and summer — are universal in human civilizations. Doubtless it has been that way for thousands of generations (or three hundred, if you prefer). We give our holidays names like Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day, and so forth. We hang upon them the trappings of the thousands of years of religious implications, and often attribute their origin to reasons other than the mere turning of the seasons. We invent new holidays, because we don’t want to celebrate other people’s holidays.
Humans have been around for quite a while. Even if you accept Bishop Usher’s figure of 6012 years ago (as of October 22nd) for the date of Creation, there have been 300 generations of us. If you prefer evolution, the figure expands to at least 7,500 generations in the case of Homo sapiens, and much longer if you include the Homos and others who preceded us.
The main thing distinguishing us from the other members of the hominid family is our big brain. Not only has it permitted us to develop intellectually, it has also set certain constraints. For one thing, we require more energy to operate our brains than any other animal that has yet been studied. Our brains use nearly 25% of the energy from our food as they direct the operation of our bodies and process information. In contrast, chimps — our closest living relatives — use less than 10% of their energy to run their masses of gray protein jelly.
These energy requirements led to forks in the path of our development such as walking upright, which provides more efficient locomotion and better body cooling: less energy used ~ less heat to get rid of. That, in turn, freed up our forlimbs for other things. Our higher energy consumption required a diet rich in animal foods, as opposed to the largely vegetarian diet of our cousins. That, in turn, required that we live our lives in reasonable proximity to such a food supply, have teeth and digestive systems suited to that kind of diet, and so forth.
Before the days of firearms, humans depended on a combination of food-gathering skills comprised, in the case of protein, mostly of stealth and knowledge of animal behavior. Whenever possible we hunted herd animals, because herds offer a greater percentage of successful hunts for the energy expended. There are always the young, the aged and the sick or injured that are more vulnerable to creatures such as we, who are unable to outrun and overpower our prey. Herd animals tend also to be larger, and provide more food in exchange for the energy it takes to hunt them.
Herds follow seasonal changes in vegetation, controlled by the angle of the sun and heralded by the positions of the stars and moon at night. Thus, early on, we developed a critical dependence on the seasons. In some fashion we began to understand the movements of the heavenly bodies, and realized that those relationships had just as much to do with our survival as did those with the people in our little groups. When the herds left, we had to be ready to follow. When the stars and sun told us that cold weather was imminent, we had to prepare. If we waited too long to leave for warmer climes we might be overtaken by bad weather, or be outdistanced by our food. We became intimately involved with seasons and, as a result, with the motions of celestial bodies.
Given the human characteristic of looking for answers rather than just going with the flow, it isn’t surprising that some of us developed a detailed knowledge of basic astronomy and its relationship to the passage of time, the seasons, and survival. Probably quite early on, Oog or Three Toes or someone else with a talent for association and a good memory realized that things in the sky happened over and over again in the same order, year after year, with identifiable relationships to animal migration and events such as berry-ripening and local fruit production.
He (or she) probably tried to get that idea across to others, but may have lacked the vocabulary to do it (perhaps, at that time, lacked speech altogether), or was simply ignored. “Hah! Here comes Oog with that star stuff again. He must have an evil spirit or something. See if you can hit him with that rock!”
Nonetheless, Oog and those who learned from him would have become, over time, the go-to guys when it came to figuring out and planning the group’s migrations and many other activities, simply because they were right a lot.
It wouldn’t take very long for Three Toes, or one of his successors, to realize that they had a good thing going. When you have knowledge, you have power itself. If you can tell people important things that they can’t figure out for themselves (and if you’re right often enough, or they think you are), they have to be nice to you. They give you things. Their maidens come to your hut. If you’re smart (more-or-less by definition Oog, Three Toes and their colleagues were smarter than the average hominid), you keep that knowledge to yourself.
If you’re worried that people might figure out your secrets, you protect your power by camouflaging the secrets with other ideas. Perhaps you even believe the new ideas, if they fit in with your personal conception of reality. Since you and your people have long attributed things you didn’t understand to some sort of Other Force or Forces (unwilling to believe that things just happen), perhaps you combine your knowledge with superstition, get folks to believe it, and become the first priest.
In any case, the mid-winter festivals are, in most civilizations, the most joyous and auspicious. The Spring and Summer holidays, celebrating the first crops and the harvest time, are important, but the Winter Holidays tell us to be thankful for the return of light — the return of life itself.
The Winter Holidays are about hope.
I hope yours are everything you hope they’ll be. Merry Winter Holiday, and a happy, prosperous and — most of all — peaceful New Year to all us hominids, wherever and whoever we are
If anyone is interested…
The First Annual
Wisdom of Mindfulness Retreats Myanmar
TWO 15 DAY INSIGHT MEDITATION RETREATS FOR FOREIGNERS
AT THE MAHASI MEDITATION CENTRE, YANGON (Burma) MYANMAR
This historic event marks an unprecedented opportunity for Westerners to practice
mindfulness meditation where the world-wide mass lay meditation movement began.
TWO SPECIAL RETREATS
Retreat 1: Jan 3-17, 2016 (open to all) (25 spaces)
Retreat 2: Jan 24-Feb 7 (for meditation teachers) (25 spaces)
Further details and online application at:
http://www.thewisdomofmindfulness.org
Quote
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Would You Rather Be Right, Or Would You Rather Be Happy?
An overpowering need to be right is born of perfectionism, pride and fear. Some people would risk a relationship, rather than admitting they were wrong, or that someone
else’s point of view might be valid – at least for that person. Those of us who carry around that character defect – and the writer is most assuredly in recovery from know-it-all-ism – are often (or often have been) so unable to admit that there are two sides to most things that we have been willing even to alienate loved ones: We’d rather be right than loved. More…
Came To Believe
The Second Step reads “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” It gets a lot of attention because of that “power greater than ourselves” part, but not so much about the “believe” part.
Just what does it mean to believe? We throw the term around a lot, and it means different things at different times. Take “I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows,” for example. Hundreds of billions of raindrops fall from one big thunderstorm. If the statement were true we’d be inundated with flowers, even if they were tiny ones, and no one who’s given the idea much thought really believes that. (Nice poetry, though.)
Then there’s the fact that I believe that the Earth is a globe, similar in shape to the one in my office. I don’t know that, but I’ve seen enough information leading…
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Sex Addiction Is Real — Believe it!
My name is Bill, and I’m recovering from sex and love addiction.
There. I said it. Continue reading
ATTENTION READERS:
This blog is no longer being maintained, except for occasional updates of the PAWS article.
Please follow my blog “What…Me Sober?” at whatmesober.com for current news and commentary on addiction issues. If you are posting about PAWS, please use the link above as the article is also on WMS?. If you are interested in Buddhism, there are a number of good blogs and other sites in the sidebar on this page.
Thanks for your patronage over the years. I just don’t have time to work with two blogs any more.
Namasté,
Bill
Home Groups
The three attributes of AA, the Steps, Traditions and Concepts, are the foundations of any program: Unity, Service and Recovery. Just as a triangle can’t support itself without all three sides, a 12-Step Group couldn’t survive without all three “sides” of its structure. With its sides intact, on the other hand, a triangle (or pyramid) is the most stable structure there is.
We have to:
- Stick together and support each other;
- Make sure that we — and newcomers — have a place to come to;
- Progress physically, spiritually and emotionally so that we can get better ourselves and then help others to recover.
The home group is the basis of all three things. READ MORE
Oldest Buddhist Shrine Uncovered In Nepal May Push Back Buddha’s Birth Date
The excavations showed that older wooden structures lay beneath the walls of the later brick Buddhist shrine. The layout of that more recent shrine duplicates the layout of the earlier wooden structures, pointing to a continuity of Buddhist worship at the site, Coningham says.
“The big debate has been about when the Buddha lived and now we have a shrine structure pointing to the sixth century B.C.,” Coningham says. The team used two kinds of scientific dating to find the age of the early shrine.
Antidepressants and PAWS
In reviewing today’s search terms, I found four listings that read “Do all antidepressants cause PAWS?” I’ve previously gotten comments on the PAWS article indicating that there is confusion about this issue, and I’d like to lay it to rest here, if possible.
PAWS is caused by changes in our brains as they become addicted to alcohol or other drugs. When the drug is withdrawn, there is a period of dysfunction while the brain repairs itself. It begins two to three weeks after cessation of the drug(s), and continues for several months or, in extreme conditions, for up to two years.
Antidepressants (ADs) neither cause nor prolong Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Antidepressant medications act on different portions of the brain. They will not trigger addiction, cause relapse or otherwise negatively affect recovery. In fact, many recovering people benefit greatly from using antidepressants. Depression is common in early recovery, and ADs can literally make the difference between successful recovery and relapse.
There are people in the rooms of AA, NA and some of the other 12-step groups who, with only the best of intentions, advise newcomers to stay off all drugs. With due respect, they may know a lot about how they themselves recovered, but they are not mental health or addiction professionals. If you are feeling as though life isn’t worth the trouble, or having feelings of self-harm, see a physician about getting on an antidepressant medication.
The life you save may be your own.
Note: Although they are not addictive and do not cause PAWS, ADs should not be stopped, once begun, without the supervision of a physician. There is no withdrawal per se, but there can be a rebound effect leading to deep depression if they are not tapered off rather than quitting “cold turkey.”
Wisdom Publications Has A New Website and DRM-free EBooks
Our friends at Wisdom Publications have asked that we publish information about their newly-designed website:
The new content-rich website of Buddhist publisher Wisdom Publications, www.wisdompubs.org, is now live. The clean new design makes it easier than ever for readers to find the books and information they want and to share it with others.
New site features include:
- Expanded book pages, complete with excerpts and tables of contents. Browse before you buy.
- In-depth author pages containing biographies, photos, and social media links
- Books organized into special interest collections including Wisdom Academics, Mindful Living, Tibetan Buddhism, Theravada, Zen, Buddhism and Psychology and Children’s, making browsing simpler than ever
- The Wisdom Blog, packed with book excerpts, quotes, interviews, original posts, and more to engage the audience.
Additionally, Wisdom Publications is now offering DRM-free ebooks for sale on the site. The books are delivered simultaneously in three formats (PDF, ePub, and Mobi), allowing readers to download them onto multiple devices and preserve them in their personal libraries for future device migration.
Visit the new website today at www.wisdompubs.org.
Note: Digital-Dharma has no connection with Wisdom Publications apart from admiration for the books they publish.
Discovery Place — Residential Fellowship-oriented Recovery
I was recently contacted by Bill D., from Discovery Place, in Burns, TN, about including something about their facility on What…Me Sober? I thought I’d publish it here, too, because … well, why not?
However, I was rather taken with the idea of Discovery Place (DP), after I twisted my head around what I now consider to be irrelevant 8th Tradition issues. (See the afterword.) Since I have contacts in the Nashville area I was able to reach out and learn that DP is well-regarded in the recovery community, and so I figured I’d make this exception to my rule. I’ll let Bill explain it:
Discovery Place opened its doors in 1997 as a recovery/spiritual retreat for men battling drug addiction and alcoholism. Founded by two men with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, Discovery Place formulated programs around the principles contained in the Big Book. Every DP guest undergoes the 12 step process by receiving instructions in one-on-one and small group settings. Our primary guides, all of whom are in recovery, play the primary role in guiding guests through the steps. We also utilize the services of volunteers from the Middle Tennessee recovery community to enrich and supplement our guest’s road to recovery.
Our main campus is located on 17 acres of beautiful country farmland just outside Nashville, TN, in a small
town called Burns. We have found this scenic, open environment lends inspiration and provides a restorative element to men badly burned from years of alcohol and drug abuse. The long-term recovery program campus is located close to our main campus in Dickson, TN. This campus serves men who have decided to extend their stay at Discovery Place past 30 days. Our LTR house can accommodate up to 6 men and offers beach volleyball, a driving range, ping pong, billiards and a patio with brick fireplace for night meetings.
I believe our organization is unique in two regards: staff and community. All of our staff, with the exception of our accountant, are in recovery. Almost all of them were introduced to a sober way of living at Discovery
Place. Because they completed at least one of our programs, staff members are in a unique position to identify and relate to guests. Over the course of their stay at Discovery Place, many guests form close bounds that continue after commencement (graduation). Many guests choose to stay close to our facility in one of the Dickson area recovery homes and live with their fellow DP alums. In many ways, we are a sober fraternity. Many guests also decide to begin volunteering at Discovery Place as soon as they commence, which is an option available to them. These facets of DP seem to work in tandem to create a flourishing recovery community. In addition to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, this might be why so many of our men pick up year or multi-year medallions.
So, that’s that, and hopefully someone will find their program interesting and perhaps useful. Bill has assured me that their residents are encouraged to get “outside help” for issues if needed, and that opportunities abound for recreation in the area. In fact, he was delayed getting this article to me because he was off on their annual White Water Rafting weekend.
http://www.discoveryplace.info/
Now, a word about the 8th Tradition issues. I have no problem with them, and neither do the folks at Discovery Place. That said, it’s none of my business anyway. I have my own problems, and if they’re getting along with the AA groups around Nashville, I’m good with it. (If they weren’t, I doubt they’d have stayed around as long as they have.)
All of the above being the case, I am not going to host a forum on 8th Step issues here. If you have a problem with the way DP handles the Traditions, feel free to contact them. Traditions rants will not be published here. This site is about recovery, not AA politics.
What’s Good For Walgreen’s…
During America’s dry age, the federal alcohol ban carved out an exemption for medicinal use, and doctors nationwide suddenly discovered they could bolster their incomes by writing liquor prescriptions. Pharmacies, which filled those prescriptions, and were one of the few places whiskey could be bought legally, raked it in. Through the 1920s, the number of Walgreens stores soared from 20 to nearly 400. Read more at the NYT
Digital Dharma 